A Mad World Indeed

Allow me to ruminate about something that has bothered me lately. Perhaps it has bothered you as well.

Turn on your TV and watch a network show for an hour or two. In that span, depending on which channel you’re watching and the time of day, you are almost guaranteed to end up seeing the Jared Jewelry store commercial.

You know the one I’m talking about.

Yeah. That one.

Unfortunately for this discussion, not even YouTube has the gall to include it on their lineup. Yet.

“He went to Jared” has become a bit of a joke around the Adcenter. In any event, however, it’s not very funny. What you are seeing when that spot runs (and believe me—it’s always running) is an egregiously terrible, stinking mess of advertising bullshit. Bullshit that someone actually wrote, storyboarded, directed, shot, edited, and most horrifically—approved. The client actually sat down in a dark room, was presented that steaming pile of corn-filled crap, smiled, and, with favorable ROI projections frolicking in his or her brain, excitedly said, “Yes. Yes, this is it. This is our new ad."

But this is not what bothers me most. What bothers me most is a much larger issue, and it is something that should bother all of us: Why is it that the ads we see constantly are the thoughtless annoying ones that are often no better than those for Jared? Why is it that almost all the great ads that you simply can’t get enough of—the ones that are smart, or funny, or cool, or interesting, or mind-altering, or humanity-pushing, or all of the above—are the ones that we hardly ever see? Where are all the award-winners? Where are all these? Why is it that all the companies with the giant media budgets are the ones that do such close-to-the-vest, uninteresting, uninspired, safe, ridiculously awful advertising that bombards us from all angles and sinks the industry (and thus society in general) to deeper and deeper depths every second?

How much money does this company have in order to be shilling their crappy jewelry multiple times on multiple channels every hour? More importantly, is this ad actually selling product?

As ad students we are constantly told that, without exception, our audience is to be treated as if he or she has a brain and deserves intelligent, concept-driven communication from us. But I simply cannot shake the fact that this Jared ad is somehow working. That somehow people see it, think to themselves, 'Hey, this place seems pretty cool,' go buy a diamond, and Jared is a success. After all, the company has to be gaining revenue from somewhere in order to keep these ads on the air with such volume. Or, maybe the ad is just annoying and noticeable enough to work their way into people's minds to the point where, even if they hate it, they might go shopping there simply because they remember it.

If there is any truth to that, then that scares me more than you'll ever know.

Maybe I am just bitter because of the simple fact that for some reason, I’ve always hated the name Jared. To me it sounds simple, stupid, and immature. Especially as the name for a jewelry retailer. Maybe I had a bad experience long ago in grade school, the memory of which I subconsciously tucked away, returning only whenever those Jared commercials rear their ugly heads.

But maybe not.

Maybe it’s because the commercial is just that bad.

And as such, I will never go to Jared.

dubs. out.