A few of us got together tonight for a welcome-back, night-before-first-day-of-classes-mildy-expensive-dinner. Afterwards, I saw Iron Man at the Byrd Theatre. It was the first movie I ever went to alone.
How I ended up by myself is pretty simple, really. I heard good reviews. I like Robert Downey Jr. films. It cost $2. Everyone else was busy. I said fuck it.
Yes, I'm here by myself, my eyes said to the ticket lady as I pulled my hand out of pocket to pay. Yes, these are 8 quarters. No, I didn't have a chance to go to the ATM today. Yes, I apologize. No, I will not make out with you.
It was weird being by myself in the theatre. Sort of lonely. But there was something liberating about it, watching the herds of people come in together, loud and obnoxious and calling out to one another. Something almost, unexplicably, superior-feeling, but not in a superior way, just a self-righteous one. I can do whatever I want whenever I want. I can go wherever I please. I don't really need anyone else. I can keep myself company.
It's a powerful feeling to realize that you can and should be your own best friend.
There was also something humorous about the whole situation when it was over. How the people around me got up quickly as the credits rolled. It wasn't until I was outside that I realized the 5 or 6 guys I was walking out amongst were also here alone. Like me, they had sat in the back for a quick exit, and like me, they hurried out of there, anxious not to be engaged in some forthcoming awkward conversation with a couple or a group they would undoubtedly know.
Richmond, after all, is a small place.
Tonight I was alone. Tomorrow we're all in this together.
dubs. out.
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